Muslim Wedding Ceremony Rituals
“And
among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves,
that ye may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put Love and mercy
between your (hearts), verily in that are signs for those who reflect”.
[Al-Rum 30:21]
Allah has surely made
marriage a blessing and a part of the worship.
Importance of Marriage:
The Holy Prophet
(P.B.U.H) said, “When a man gets
married, he gets one half of the religion. Thus, he should fear Allah in the
other half.” (Reported by Al Baihaqi)
In Islam, Marriage is
considered to be a part of the religion and also a part of the worship for the
Muslims. Because of the emphasis given on the Muslim wedding and the advantages that it could bring, it is
required that every young man and woman of the age of marriage should get
marry.
Besides, many
advantages that could be gained from marriage, one of the biggest rewards are
the protection against the sins.
Abdullah Ibn Mas’ud
(R.A) reported that Holy Prophet (P.B.U.H) said, “O you young people! Whoever can afford marriage should marry, for that
will help him lower his gaze and guard his modesty (i.e. private parts from
committing illegal sexual intercourse, etc.). Whoever is not able to marry is
recommended to fast, as fasting diminishes (his) sexual power”. [Al-Bukhari
and Muslim]
Muslim Wedding:
Keeping in view the
importance of the marriage in Islam, every Muslim must be aware of the Muslim wedding rules. It is important
to know as well that what kind of wedding is allowed in Islam and how a Muslim wedding should look like.
What is a Muslim Wedding?
A Muslim Wedding is the one that perfectly follows the principals and
spirit of Islam and the Sunnah of the Holy Prophet (P.B.U.H) which is
simplicity and modesty. In today’s world, a lot of money is spent on the Muslim
wedding ceremony usually, which is not allowed as per the teachings of Islam
for a Muslim wedding. All the riches
from across the city are invited to the marriage ceremonies whereas the poor
living nearby are ignored which is the first thing prohibited in Muslim wedding concept of Islam as said
by the Messenger of Allah (S.A.W),” The
worst of the feasts are those marriage feasts to which the rich are invited and
the poor are left out.” (Mishkat)
A perfect Muslim wedding should consist of only a
Nikah ceremony and a Walima and the Mahr that is the right of the bride should
be set according to the capacity of the groom.
Every other luxury event
that is added to the today’s wedding including photography, engagements, mehndi
functions, dance, music, and decorations etc. are not part of the Muslim wedding.
A Perfect Example of a Muslim Wedding:
The Holy Prophet
(P.B.U.H) gave us a perfect example of a Muslim
wedding when Hazrat Ali (R.A) was married to the daughter of Holy Prophet
(P.B.U.H), Hazrat Fatima (R.A). The wedding ceremony comprised of the Nikah
which was recited by the Holy Prophet (P.B.U.H) and the Mehr of 400 Misqaal of
Silver was set. After the Nikah ceremony, the Holy Prophet (S.A.W) entertained
the guests with dates. Some of the basic items of livings as Jahez were also
given by Hazrat Muhammad (S.A.W) to his daughter. This is how a Muslim wedding should look like.
The Basic Elements/
Functions of a Muslim Wedding:
There are many unnecessary
functions which are the part of the Muslim wedding ceremony these days, but
according to the Islamic rules and keeping in view the above mentioned example
set by the Holy Prophet (P.B.U.H) for a Muslim
wedding, the basic elements that a Muslim
wedding should have are as follows:
Nikah:
It
is the most important and the basic part of the Muslim wedding which is conducted by an Imam. As per the
convenience and ease of everyone, it is allowed to conduct the Nikah ceremony
either at the bride’s home or in the mosque. There should be a complete
separate place for both men and women to sit. From the bride’s side, two sane
and adult witnesses should accompany the Imam to get the signature from the bride.
After that the permission from the bride’s father is seek and then the sermon
of Nikkah began after which the groom is asked to take a kind of an oath that
he will fulfill all the requirements and obligations of the bride. Generally
the sermon of Nikah comprises of three Quranic verses and one Hadith about the
marriage.
After
all the necessary requirements, the Muslim
wedding ceremony of Nikah must also have a prayer for the long and happy
life of the bride, groom and their families, at the end of the ceremony. It is
important to register every Nikah with the legal bodies as per the regulations
of the country. The Nikah ceremony should be kept simplest and least amount of
expenses should be made. The Holy Prophet (P.B.U.H) has also encouraged simple
wedding ceremonies.
“The best wedding is that upon which the
least trouble and expense is bestowed.” (Mishkat)
There
are certain requirements that should be fulfilled in a Nikah Ceremony as per
the teachings for the Muslim wedding
in Islam. Both the primary and secondary requirements of the Nikah as per the Muslim wedding rules should be
fulfilled.
Mahr:
Mahr
is an important aspect of a Muslim
wedding. It is made obligatory by Allah for the groom to give a certain
amount of Mahr to the bride. Allah said in the Holy Quran,” And give the women (on marriage) their mahr
as a (Nikah) free gift”. (4:4)
As
per the Muslim wedding guidelines, the
Mahr can be given in any form but mostly cash and also, according to one of its
kind, it should be paid at the spot of the Nikah in which case it is called a
muajjal mahr or the muahkhar mahr which could be paid at some later date. But
in both cases, it is compulsory to pay the mahr by the Muslim wedding rules.
Dowry:
Although
permission to demand dowry is not allowed as per the rules set for a Muslim wedding, but if it is given by
the own will and wish of the parents of the bride, then it not forbidden to
take it. Allah has said in the Holy Quran, “
but if they, of their own good pleasure, remit any part of it to you, take it,
and enjoy it without the fear of any harm (as Allah has made it lawful).”
[Al-Nisa 4:4]
In
Islam the fulfillment of the basic needs of the lives of the wife and the
family is the responsibility of the man.
Allah
says,
“Men are the protectors and maintainers of
women, because Allah ahs made one of them to excel the other, and because they
spend (to support them) from their means.” [Al-Nisa 4:34]
Walima Reception:
After
the Nikah, it is allowed in a Muslim
wedding in Islam to have a feast. But, for Walima also, it is guided in
Islam to follow the rules of simplicity and no extra guests should be invited
except the family and the close friends. It is not allowed to have too much
money spent on this event as it is a general custom to do so in the current
day. Islam also demands from its followers to make the poor the part of their joyous
occasions including the Muslim wedding.
We should seek guidance from the life of the Holy Prophet (P.B.U.H) about the
type of event; Walima should be in a Muslim
wedding.
A
Walima given by our Holy Prophet Muhammad (P.B.U.H) was described by Anas (R.A)
like this:
“The Prophet stayed for three days at a
place between Khaibar and Medina, and there he consummated his marriage with
Safiyya bint Huyay (R.A). I invited the Muslims to a banquet which included
neither meat nor bread. The Prophet (P.B.U.H) ordered for the leather dinning
sheets to be spread, and then dates, dried yogurt and butter were provided over
it, and that was the Walima of the Prophet (S.A.W).” [Bukhari]
You
can have a well-arranged Walima ceremony with good dishes if you can afford it,
but there is no use of spending extra if it does not give any surety of a
successful Muslim wedding. The
Prophet of Allah (P.B.U.H) said,” The
marriage which is most greatly blessed is the one which is the lightest in
burden (expenses). However, if people are well catered for, without
extravagance and show, there is no problem with that either.” [Bayhaqi]
So, keeping in view all
sayings of Allah Almighty and the Hadiths, it could be said with clarity that
Islam is against extravagance. It allows simplicity and modesty in all the
matters of the life. The perfect Muslim
wedding should be based on the teachings of Islam and the ceremonies should
be kept simple. The amount of money that is spent on the luxurious weddings
these days, if given to the poor and underprivileged of the society, could bring
greater good to them than our showoff. Islam teaches us simplicity and Allah
does not like the ones who waste His blessings.
“But
waste not the excess: for Allah loves not the wasters.”
[Quran, 6:141]
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