at 09:42

Important Factors of Happy Marriage

The Holy Prophet Muhammad P.B.U.H said

"Marriage is my sunnah. Whosoever keeps away from it is not from me."

By above Hadith we can understand how Islam emphasis on marriage.  Islam not only forced to get marriage but also emphasis on happy marriage. We can understand importance of happy marriage in Islam by the following advice to men of Muhammad (SAW)

"The best amongst you are the best for their wives, and I am the best of you for my wives." (Tirmidhi)

Same wise Muhammad also taught women to please their husband. He said

“Any woman who dies while her husband is pleased with her, she will enter Jannah.” (Tirmidhi) 

For a happy marriage following are the very important factors

·         Trust

·         Not Point Out Finger On Partner

·         Accept Sense of Responsibility

·         Openness and Honesty

1.     Trust for Happy Marriage

One of the key factors of happy marriage is mutual trust. Trust ties two individuals together and when it breaks, relationship end up. If there is a lack of trust between married lives than it would result in suspicion, anger and enmity and causes at last to separation. So trust is very important in happy married relation and one should also not break the trust of other.

Respectable Imam Ali (A.S) said

"The best of belief is trustworthiness, and the worst of manners is betrayal."

2.     Not Point Out Finger On Partner for Happy Marriage

Never point out finger on other if your partner made any mistake. When your partner made a mistake, ignore his/her shortcoming so other ignore it too when you made a mistake. So the best factor of happy marriage is to ignore shortcoming of your partner.

Imam Ali (A.S) said

 "Ignore the shortcomings and forgive the mistakes of others, just as you hope that God will forgive your crimes and sins."

3.     Accept Sense of Responsibility for Happy Marriage

A happy marriage is not about living with each other, it’s also about accepting sense of responsibilities. One needs to change his/her sense of personal preferences, leisure time and giving themselves to make happy each other.

Factors in which people neglects their responsibility in married life

·         Lack of maturity.

·         No future planning of marriage.

·         Not ready to give themselves each other.

·         Lack of interest of spouse.

·         Irresponsible wife.

 Generally a man responsibility is to fulfill all requirements of home and his wife and woman has responsibility to look after her spouse home.

Holy Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W) said
“The woman is the guardian of her husband’s house and is responsible for it.” (Bukhari)

4.     Openness and Honesty for Happy Marriage

Openness and honesty in married relationship is very important for happy marriage. It increases compatibility between spouse and wife. When a wife and spouse share life moments with each other like their past, present activities and future plans then they are actually making a bound with each other that makes their relationships more strong.

So above are the most important factor of happy married life, practice these factors in your life and make it beautiful. 

at 09:33

3 Tips for a Successful Marriage

Everyone wants to have a happy marriage life. But sometimes this blissful relationship face critical situation which may end up in divorce which is not likeable act in Islam. Marriage in Islam is not only a status of having husband and wife but also making complete each other for sake of Allah, accepting responsibilities and fulfilling rights of each other by keeping Allah’s fear in mind. Islam gives us extensive successful marriage tips. In this article I give you 3 tips for a successful marriage life.

“And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.” [Qur’an: Chapter 30, Verse 21]

Are you thinking that what is the reason that some couple fined tranquility with each other while others have miserable life? Here 3 tips for a successful marriage life are given by following on it; couples can find tranquility with each other.

1.  Couples Love Each Other For Sake of Allah

What does it mean that couples love each other for sake of Allah? It means that couple loves each other so much that they want to live with each other whole life and plans to live together with each other in Jannah. So they avoid the entire things which are not likeable according to the teachings of Islam.

Your spouse has love for sake of Allah when acts on following tips for a successful marriage.

·         Stopped you from having ill-will for anybody.

·         Stopped you for doing backbiting about your relatives, friends, colleagues or any person.

·         Help you to have good manners.

·         Want to see you more honest and guide you in this matter.

·         Help you to become more generous and kind.

·         Help you to overcome your any bad habits.

·         Helps you to become more truthful and trustworthy.

The Holy Prophet Muhammad S.A.W said

“Nothing is placed on the Scale that is heavier than good character. Indeed the person with good character will have attained the rank of the person of fasting and prayer.” [Tirmidhi]

     2. Couples Should Grateful For Each Other

The most important tips for a successful marriage are that couples should grateful for each other for their presence.  The most complication in relationship arises when people started taking for granted each other. We have to realize our close ones that they are very important for us.

For tranquility in marriage relationship we have to follow the Islamic path.

Holy prophet Muhammad S.A.W said

“He who does not thank the people is not thankful to Allah.” [Abu Dawud]

Here there are some reasons by which you should thankful for your spouse.

·         For buying clothes for you.

·         For providing you food to eat.

·         For giving you roof to live.

·         For being protector of your honor.

·         Take you where ever you want to go.

     3.    Become Best Friends of Each Other

  Muslim couples communicate with each other both in good times and conflicts. In good times they share thing happened in whole day, share jokes and personal feelings. In conflicts they try to talk with each other and try to sort out issue. The couples should communicate like Holy Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W) and his wife.

Aisha (Radi Allahu Anha) narrated that

“Allah’s Messenger (S.A.W) said to her: “I know when you are pleased with me or angry with me.” I said, “Whence do you know that?” He said, “When you are pleased with me, you say, ‘No, by the Lord of Muhammad,’ but when you are angry with me, then you say, ‘No, by the Lord of Abraham.’ ” Thereupon I said, “Yes (you are right), but by Allah, O Allah’s Messenger, I leave nothing but your name.” [Bukhari]”

So by following our 3 tips for a successful marriage, every Muslim couple can have a life full of tranquility.

at 09:22

How To Be A Better Husband?

HOW TO BE A BETTER HUSBAND?

“And among His Signs is this that He created for you wives (spouses) from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for people who reflect.” (Aayah No. 21, Surah Ar-Rūm, Chapter No. 30, Holy Qur’an)

            The above Ayah shows a creation of life partners for humans, who belong to the same kind, is a great favor of Allah to them. He created life partners in order to make life easier for human beings. Allah has also mentioned the rights of the wives which are the duties of husbands and the rights of husbands or duties of wives in order to maintain the balance between them and to create ease for them. Husbands are entitled with many duties according to the Quran and sunnah and a good husband will fulfill most of them. The rules of how to be a better husband are mentioned as follows and are supported by Hadiths and Ayahs.

A good husband is obliged to give mahr to his wife as Allah says in the Quran;

“And give to the women their Mahr with a good heart; but if they, of their own good pleasure, remit any part of it to you, take it and enjoy it without fear of any harm.” (Aayah No. 4, Surah An-Nisa’, Chapter No. 4, Holy Qur’an).

He is supposed to merrily give mahr to his wife however if the wife herself do not want to take it from husband, then the husband is free to keep mahr. But it must be kept in mind that nobody should force the wife to waive off the mahr.

A good husband should treat his wife with affection and should avoid molesting her both physically and mentally. Allah has forbidden men from harassing their wives in Quran. Holy Prophet (S.A.W) also ordered men to treat their wives benevolently. Husbands were ordered by Muhammad (S.A.W) to take care of their wives. Those husbands, who treated their wives badly, were condemned by Holy Prophet Muhammad (P.B.U.H). Islam fully teaches us how to be a better husband. On the occasion of his last pilgrimage, He (S.A.W) said;

“You must treat your women folk well!! You must treat your women folk well!” (Muslim and al-Tirmidhi).

He (S.A.W) also said

“The best of you is the one who is best to his family, and I am the best of you to my family.” (al-Tirmidhi and Ibn Majah, Sahih)

It is the responsibility of a good husband to make a livelihood for himself and his family and to guard his wife against all the difficulties, the evil eye of the people and respect her.

Allah says in Quran

“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women because of what Allah has preferred one with over the other and because of what they spend to support them from their wealth.” [Sûrah al-Nisâ’: 34]

The husbands are advised to help their partners in the household work. Allah's messenger (S.A.W) used to assist his wives when at home and also advised the other Muslim men to do so. He (S.A.W) once said;

"By assisting your wives in their household matters you men receive the reward of sadaqah."

Once, Hazrat Aisha was asked by sahabah that what Rasulullah (S.A.W) does when at home. Hazrat Ayesha replied that He (S.A.W) would help us with the households. Thus, this shows the importance of helping women at home and it shows that men are encouraged by Islam to help their wives at home. Thus we can see that the messenger of Allah himself set a great example of how to be a better husband.

Thus from the above Hadiths and Ayahs clearly show how to be a better husband.

at 09:11

Muslim Wedding Ceremony Rituals

“And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put Love and mercy between your (hearts), verily in that are signs for those who reflect”. [Al-Rum 30:21]

Allah has surely made marriage a blessing and a part of the worship.

Importance of Marriage:

The Holy Prophet (P.B.U.H) said, “When a man gets married, he gets one half of the religion. Thus, he should fear Allah in the other half.” (Reported by Al Baihaqi)

In Islam, Marriage is considered to be a part of the religion and also a part of the worship for the Muslims. Because of the emphasis given on the Muslim wedding and the advantages that it could bring, it is required that every young man and woman of the age of marriage should get marry.

Besides, many advantages that could be gained from marriage, one of the biggest rewards are the protection against the sins.

Abdullah Ibn Mas’ud (R.A) reported that Holy Prophet (P.B.U.H) said, “O you young people! Whoever can afford marriage should marry, for that will help him lower his gaze and guard his modesty (i.e. private parts from committing illegal sexual intercourse, etc.). Whoever is not able to marry is recommended to fast, as fasting diminishes (his) sexual power”. [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

Muslim Wedding:            

Keeping in view the importance of the marriage in Islam, every Muslim must be aware of the Muslim wedding rules. It is important to know as well that what kind of wedding is allowed in Islam and how a Muslim wedding should look like.

What is a Muslim Wedding?

A Muslim Wedding is the one that perfectly follows the principals and spirit of Islam and the Sunnah of the Holy Prophet (P.B.U.H) which is simplicity and modesty. In today’s world, a lot of money is spent on the Muslim wedding ceremony usually, which is not allowed as per the teachings of Islam for a Muslim wedding. All the riches from across the city are invited to the marriage ceremonies whereas the poor living nearby are ignored which is the first thing prohibited in Muslim wedding concept of Islam as said by the Messenger of Allah (S.A.W),” The worst of the feasts are those marriage feasts to which the rich are invited and the poor are left out.” (Mishkat)

A perfect Muslim wedding should consist of only a Nikah ceremony and a Walima and the Mahr that is the right of the bride should be set according to the capacity of the groom.

Every other luxury event that is added to the today’s wedding including photography, engagements, mehndi functions, dance, music, and decorations etc. are not part of the Muslim wedding.

A Perfect Example of a Muslim Wedding:

The Holy Prophet (P.B.U.H) gave us a perfect example of a Muslim wedding when Hazrat Ali (R.A) was married to the daughter of Holy Prophet (P.B.U.H), Hazrat Fatima (R.A). The wedding ceremony comprised of the Nikah which was recited by the Holy Prophet (P.B.U.H) and the Mehr of 400 Misqaal of Silver was set. After the Nikah ceremony, the Holy Prophet (S.A.W) entertained the guests with dates. Some of the basic items of livings as Jahez were also given by Hazrat Muhammad (S.A.W) to his daughter. This is how a Muslim wedding should look like.

The Basic Elements/ Functions of a Muslim Wedding:

There are many unnecessary functions which are the part of the Muslim wedding ceremony these days, but according to the Islamic rules and keeping in view the above mentioned example set by the Holy Prophet (P.B.U.H) for a Muslim wedding, the basic elements that a Muslim wedding should have are as follows:

Nikah:

It is the most important and the basic part of the Muslim wedding which is conducted by an Imam. As per the convenience and ease of everyone, it is allowed to conduct the Nikah ceremony either at the bride’s home or in the mosque. There should be a complete separate place for both men and women to sit. From the bride’s side, two sane and adult witnesses should accompany the Imam to get the signature from the bride. After that the permission from the bride’s father is seek and then the sermon of Nikkah began after which the groom is asked to take a kind of an oath that he will fulfill all the requirements and obligations of the bride. Generally the sermon of Nikah comprises of three Quranic verses and one Hadith about the marriage.  

After all the necessary requirements, the Muslim wedding ceremony of Nikah must also have a prayer for the long and happy life of the bride, groom and their families, at the end of the ceremony. It is important to register every Nikah with the legal bodies as per the regulations of the country. The Nikah ceremony should be kept simplest and least amount of expenses should be made. The Holy Prophet (P.B.U.H) has also encouraged simple wedding ceremonies.

“The best wedding is that upon which the least trouble and expense is bestowed.” (Mishkat)

There are certain requirements that should be fulfilled in a Nikah Ceremony as per the teachings for the Muslim wedding in Islam. Both the primary and secondary requirements of the Nikah as per the Muslim wedding rules should be fulfilled.

Mahr:                                  

Mahr is an important aspect of a Muslim wedding. It is made obligatory by Allah for the groom to give a certain amount of Mahr to the bride. Allah said in the Holy Quran,” And give the women (on marriage) their mahr as a (Nikah) free gift”. (4:4)

As per the Muslim wedding guidelines, the Mahr can be given in any form but mostly cash and also, according to one of its kind, it should be paid at the spot of the Nikah in which case it is called a muajjal mahr or the muahkhar mahr which could be paid at some later date. But in both cases, it is compulsory to pay the mahr by the Muslim wedding rules.

Dowry:

Although permission to demand dowry is not allowed  as per the rules set for a Muslim wedding, but if it is given by the own will and wish of the parents of the bride, then it not forbidden to take it. Allah has said in the Holy Quran, “ but if they, of their own good pleasure, remit any part of it to you, take it, and enjoy it without the fear of any harm (as Allah has made it lawful).” [Al-Nisa 4:4]

In Islam the fulfillment of the basic needs of the lives of the wife and the family is the responsibility of the man.

Allah says,

“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah ahs made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means.” [Al-Nisa 4:34]

Walima Reception:

After the Nikah, it is allowed in a Muslim wedding in Islam to have a feast. But, for Walima also, it is guided in Islam to follow the rules of simplicity and no extra guests should be invited except the family and the close friends. It is not allowed to have too much money spent on this event as it is a general custom to do so in the current day. Islam also demands from its followers to make the poor the part of their joyous occasions including the Muslim wedding. We should seek guidance from the life of the Holy Prophet (P.B.U.H) about the type of event; Walima should be in a Muslim wedding.

A Walima given by our Holy Prophet Muhammad (P.B.U.H) was described by Anas (R.A) like this:

“The Prophet stayed for three days at a place between Khaibar and Medina, and there he consummated his marriage with Safiyya bint Huyay (R.A). I invited the Muslims to a banquet which included neither meat nor bread. The Prophet (P.B.U.H) ordered for the leather dinning sheets to be spread, and then dates, dried yogurt and butter were provided over it, and that was the Walima of the Prophet (S.A.W).” [Bukhari]

You can have a well-arranged Walima ceremony with good dishes if you can afford it, but there is no use of spending extra if it does not give any surety of a successful Muslim wedding. The Prophet of Allah (P.B.U.H) said,” The marriage which is most greatly blessed is the one which is the lightest in burden (expenses). However, if people are well catered for, without extravagance and show, there is no problem with that either.” [Bayhaqi]

So, keeping in view all sayings of Allah Almighty and the Hadiths, it could be said with clarity that Islam is against extravagance. It allows simplicity and modesty in all the matters of the life. The perfect Muslim wedding should be based on the teachings of Islam and the ceremonies should be kept simple. The amount of money that is spent on the luxurious weddings these days, if given to the poor and underprivileged of the society, could bring greater good to them than our showoff. Islam teaches us simplicity and Allah does not like the ones who waste His blessings.

“But waste not the excess: for Allah loves not the wasters.” [Quran, 6:141]